Toddler Table Wars

I have a 2 ½ year old son and he is a phenomenal eater. He makes me one proud mother and one proud Dietitian. Of course he isn’t always the eater I would like him to be. If there is just one thing that I have learned about motherhood it’s that nothing ever turns out quite how you planned…you can’t control everything. I don’t believe that he is a good eater because he was born that way. I believe there are things that I have done which have allowed him to develop his wonderful relationship with food. For this post I wanted to share those things.

1. Although I want only extremely healthy foods to nourish his ever growing body, I am not a food Nazi (well, in my mind). He eats hot dogs at school, which he attends twice per week. I think they are his favorite food. I never buy them for my home, not even organic turkey dogs. He was begging me for them a while back so I searched the grocery store high and low for the “healthiest” version of this mechanically-separated meat concoction. I found a dog made of tofu. He did not like them. It was a waste of money. So, he get’s to enjoy them at school, they are a treat. Sometimes I he will choose to order one at a restaurant or his dad will purchase him one at a baseball game in the summer. I let it slide. On average he may eat one per month.

2. He helps me in the kitchen and he loves it. We bake together and enjoy the sugar creations that we make. He knows that you always wash your hands before you touch food and he is exposed to the process in which the food gets from the fridge to the table.

3. I made my own baby food. Not only is jarred baby food a waste of money, it is so thin that you child never gets to experience different textures. When you prepare fruits and vegetables for your older baby you have the ability to use the freshest ingredients and increase the thickness of the food so that your little one learns how to move his tongue, chew, and swallow appropriately. Additionally, it makes the transition to real table foods even easier. There will be a more detailed post on this subject coming very soon.

4. We eat dinner as a family at the table as often as possible. He has joined us at the table even when he was just nursing. He would sit in a bouncer until he ate solid food. From then on he sat in his high chair. Now he is in a booster right up to the table. He never eats before us or after us. Sometimes this makes for a crazy dinner time, but it helps him to learn (ever so slowly) proper table manners.

5. If he doesn’t want to eat he doesn’t have to, but he does have to sit with us. This is a very difficult and stressful situation. When he keeps pushing away from the table and tries to escape, he has a couple options. He can either eat 3 bites then get down or he can sit in time out for 2 minutes and then come back to the table. If he chooses option one, which he usually does he often ends up eating more than the three bites. If he doesn’t choose either, I choose for him and it’s time out. He comes back and is usually pretty happy to be eating.

6. I know some Dietitians would squirm at this technique, but they probably don’t have a feisty 2 ½ year old yet. If he isn’t eating his veggies I might say that we have some frozen yogurt in the freezer. This excites him a great deal. If he can eat 3 bites of his vegetables he can have dessert. If he cooperates I will often give it to him right then. He then eats the rest of his dinner and his dessert at the same time. Yum! As he has gotten older, I use this less and less. Last night he asked me for more salad at dinner. What a glorious moment.

7. Often for breakfast and lunch I give him 2 choices of what he would like to eat. This makes him feel powerful and lets him know there are other things to eat for breakfast besides a slice of cheese and toast.

8. He is exposed to all types of foods. My little family is lucky enough to have near-by family that like to take us out for dinner. We often go out for sushi. Because of his varied exposure he loves anything from Chick-Fil-A, (the only fast food establishment I will take him to, and it’s just sparingly) to miso soup, to a California roll, to salmon.

9. He eats what we eat. I never prepare him food separately. If he doesn’t eat much, too bad. He will have to wait until the next meal time.

10. I expose him to new foods. I don’t assume that because he is tiny that he won’t like something. Additionally, he is very curious. For both of these reasons he has tried just a plain dollop of sour cream and a dash of hot sauce on his plate. He usually grabs his water cup pretty quickly after those exposures. If he acts nervous to try something new I tell him if he doesn’t like it he can spit it out. If he spits it out that is OK. Also, I will let him try that same thing again down the road. He may eventually love it. That’s what happened with broccoli.

I know these tips make it sound like I have a perfect eater always at the table. I don’t. Many family members can attest to that. Yet, compared to many other kids he does great. It’s not always as wonderful as I have made it sound, but these little tips and techniques are what I believe has made him the eater he is. If you are concerned that you child only likes chicken nuggets or mac and cheese, stop feeding them those foods. Give them something else. It is much harder to influence a child when they are older, but you can make small changes. If you have a baby, perfect. Start when they are consuming solid foods. Furthermore, make sure you have a healthy relationship with food. Children are marvelous observers.