your relationship with food

I write a monthly nutrition newsletter for work. Each month we have a new theme that we send to clients. I have noticed that I am getting more and more "feelings" oriented when it comes to discussing food. I truly beleive that is the most important aspect of maintaing a healthy, normal weight - to have a good relationship with food. What works for one person may not work for another, you must find what works best for you. Understanding that food is fuel will guide you to make more healthful decisions. Additionally, you should love food and treat it with respect.

Here is my newsletter from February, it was a longer one.

Food surrounds us. We use it to celebrate, to congratulate, for small get-togethers, and large parties. We are constantly bombarded with foods that are “good” for us and taught to feel guilty for eating foods that are “bad” for us. As complicated or uncomplicated as food and nutrition can be, we need it. Not only does food nourish us, it can also comfort us, make us happy, or excite us. Developing a healthy relationship with food could possibly be one of the most difficult journeys to face. Yet, if you want to lose weight, gain weight, or find the weight that is perfect for you, you must create a holistic association with what you eat.



In the blog, Can You Stay for Dinner? Author, Andie Mitchell writes about her journey to lose 135 pounds and maintain her weight loss. After losing all of those pounds and fearful of gaining it back she seeks the help of a Nutritionist who helps her to realize the truth behind her prior morbidly obese state.


“Many people can think of at least one time in their lives when they felt at ease with food, or at least that they had an appropriate relationship with it. They probably didn’t have to think too hard about what they’d eat and how it would fuel them, they just had a trust in themselves and their hunger/fullness cues. Children are excellent examples of having a natural food intuition. They eat when they are hungry and generally stop when they are full. But you have never had what one can consider a “normal” relationship with food. For you, it seems the earliest memories still involve overeating or eating for some other reason than hunger. So then I cannot tell you to return to a place of trust with food, a state of normal eating. You have to learn that now at 21.”


“With her help I was able to learn to trust myself. I realized that in order to live a fulfilling life in all aspects, food had to be a friend, not an enemy. When I first admitted to myself that food had been my love affair/dependency for the majority of my life, I was angry. I felt that I had to get away from it, to not let it be the focus of my mind. But as I’ve heard someone say before, “Food addiction isn’t like addiction to alcohol or drugs where you can just remove it from your life. With food, you need it to live. You have to have it every day.” This statement only brings to light the fact that the only way through food addiction is by making peace with it. Food is just food. Chocolate cake isn’t “bad,” carrots aren’t “good,” and Bavarian cream donuts didn’t make me morbidly obese. I was the one who abused the food and gave it character. So I learned to view food as a neutral entity, not positive or negative. And my eating Bavarian cream donuts, similarly, was not positive or negative. By shifting the emphasis from my emotional bondage with food to a focus on building a new and healthy relationship with it, I was able to start over. I regained an understanding that eating, while enjoyable, was not the end all be all to my happiness. Social gatherings involving food had less to do with the buffet and more to do with the social part. Vacations were times to enjoy new environments, make memories with people I love, and yes, to taste fun and new cuisine. I rediscovered the other parts of my life that had been overshadowed by the menu.”


The ideal weight looks different for everyone. The important aspect to realize is what works for you and to achieve that through healthful, realistic means. Whether it’s through counting calories, watching portions, or training for an event you must choose a method that works for you. You don’t have to always love it, but it if becomes something that you hate or feel trapped in – make a change. Changing up your routine can actually progress weight loss. Lastly, if you think that you abuse food whether it is eating to cover-up pain or not eating to find some control in your life seek out the help of a Registered Dietitian or Psychologist that specializes in Normal Eating.


What “Normal Eating” looks like: By, Ellyn Satter, RD


“Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.


In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.”